Much loved by footballers and football commentators alike, it’s good to see that the mixed metaphor is alive and well. I think the best example of the genre I have seen or heard for a long time is a quote in today’s news media from Tony Woodley, the joint secretary of Unite, the union involved in the dispute at the Grangemouth oil refinery. Laying the blame for industrial action firmly at the feet of the chief executive of Ineos, the owners of the plant, Mr Woodley warned, “The ball is in their hands, but if it falls on deaf ears, things could get prolonged or worse.” Indeed. Could be the best one ever. Or perhaps you know better.